Overmorrow

I don't know how you will find me when we meet.
I will have become someone else by then.
Who that will be, I have yet to find out myself.
But please be gentle with the person I might be then.
For I have made a deal with Tomorrow.
Tomorrow has a lot in store for this weary soul.
Tests of fortitude and patience and love.
Tests of prudence and kindness and acceptance.
And forgiveness.
Especially forgiveness.
It is one of the hardest tests of all.
It is the one that can most change us into people we hardly recognize.
So when you see me, Over-morrow, please be kind.
Please be gentle. Please be sweet.
Be that friend who says nothing but gives much.
And I shall look forward to meeting you
like the long lost friend I shall never catch up with.
If anything, at least give me hope.
At least help me feel that the rainbow in your skies
will be worth Tomorrow's rain.

Dark Horse

So I kick off my shoes
And set my hair loose
And ran into the glen
Where my dark horse waits...
And he's telling me
To throw away
my doubts
To the wind
And he's telling me
To embrace
This glorious mess
That is my life
For he is in it.

I'll Do It All Again

I'll do it all again...
heal your wounds,
soothe your aches,
ease your pains.

I'll do it all again...
lend you my shoulder
when no one else would,
stand behind you
when you feel like you'd fall.

I'll do it all again...
I'd listen,
I'd smile,
give you comfort,
even laugh when you need me to.

Just to let you know that the world
is still
beautiful.

I'll do it all again...
even if it takes only a day
for others to unravel the bandages I've placed,
or to reopen the cuts I've so patiently closed.

I'll do it all again...
pray my wordless prayers
for your safety,
hope for the best
even when the best is nowhere to be seen,
replenish your spirit
when your tank is all empty,
hold your heart together
when it's broken or torn,
nourish your soul
when you're all parched and dry.

I will always have more than enough for the both of us.

All you have to do is come home.
Because if that is what I am to you,
then I'll do it all again.

And always one more time.

-your butterfly in the dark

Easter 2010

The gathering clouds are clearing.
The mist has blown away.
The troubles that have haunt me, though,
have made their choice to stay.

The stars have formed their halo,
the moon on Madonna's face,
But for this, here, human,
I still need thy saving grace.

The tomb has been found empty.
The rock that sealed it, broke.
But my back is still bent, weary
from this cross, my burden's yoke.

I know you'll be leaving soon.
After Holy Week, you said.
I'll trust not in your return,
though I wish Easter would never end.

I'll fill myself with Easter colors
To forget the bleakness that you leave.
The Lord has risen and so has the sun
but I'll stay in bed and cover my head
until it's your resurrection come.

And I'll Teach My Heart Not To Break

Just let me know where I am in your life.
I'm sure it's not that hard.
My heart is open like a book,
longing for your fingers to turn the page.
I wait, helplessly for you
in the chaotic peace where you left me.
And I'll stay here until you return
the way the sky awaits the sun.
Except I have no moon to take your place when you leave.
I know I seem so vulnerable and hopelessly with hope,
But I'm stronger than I seem.

I can teach my heart not to break.

I can will the tears to stop.
I can smile and tell you I'll be alright.
I can agree to the impossible friendship that follows goodbyes.
I can keep your number in my phone
and not look at your old I-love-you's with regret.
I can be the epitome of politeness
when you introduce me to her like an old friend.
I can live on like our yesterdays
were merely dreams that never were.
I can do all those things with practiced elegance,
the way true lovers love.

Just please don't leave me hanging.
And I'll teach my heart not to break.

Because, really...
It's funny that we could teach our hearts so many things:
To open up or to close.
To let go or to hold on.
To cling to hope or to simply give up.
To avenge or to heal.
To forgive.
To accept.
To move on.

But never who to love...

Somebody

Somebody is holding on on.
Somebody is letting go.
Somebody is hurting.
Somebody inflicts the pain.
Somebody wants the truth.
Somebody wants the lie.
Somebody is hoping.
Somebody is afraid.
Somebody is torn.
Somebody is trapped.
Somebody needs to be free.
Somebody must make a choice.
And somebody is simply adrift.

I just don't know
which somebody
I must be.

January 14, 2010

Rebuilding
broken trusts,
picking up the pieces
and getting hurt still
by the sharp edges of
the puzzle falling into place.
Is it wiser to abandon
the search for the truth?
Is it worth it?
To be nicked some more,
if only to hold
your hand
in mine
again?