Oct 29, 2010

Strutting
down the street
in my clacketty shoes,
feeling like a queen
in my worn out brown dress;
immaculate
in my dirty white coat.
Sidewalk vendors
and barbeque stalls
and tricycle drivers,
my loyal subjects.
I'm tired.
from a 32 hour shift
but I strut
like a model
with head held high,
because I know
somewhere
in the second floor balcony
you look down on me,
as I shorten the distance
between us,
and I wonder
what it is you're thinking.
Do you see someone
beautiful?
Do you feel proud
of the knowledge
that my day's journey's end
is at your side?

Traveller in the City

Tired feet.

Worn out sandals.

Breath short.

Heart pounding.

Wallet empty.

Throat dry,

Parched, like something is stuck.

Stomach grumbling.

Eyes hurting

From too many colors.

Too many sights

Screaming for attention.

Too many voices

None of them make sense.

Too much luggage from the past

just dropped at the side of the road.

I don't need them anymore.

I haven't needed them for so long.

I just didn't want to let go.

Gathering essentials.

Lightening the load.

A rebellion of Ghosts scream in outrage.

One of them as persistent and as pestilent

as the new Dengue strain.

But my mind is made up.

This is where my ship embarks.

And the fresh air that greeted

was like an embrace.

Heels cracked.

Arms tight.

Back slumped.

Clouds gather behind me in silent protest.

My whole body has been aching from the long, long quest.

...but I've never been happier,

... never been more free...

Dream

Your love
Is like
A kiss
From a faraway
Dream…
Lingering
Long after I’ve awakened

Executioner

So tired
Must move on
Drag your feet
With ball and chain
Freedom is a chink
On the wall
Where a spark
Of the light outside
Is all you see.
Trust is a mirror
You broke
Love is your only sure thing
But the smoke in your eyes
Clouded the sky
Convicted you
To a one way highway
Bask in your bubble
Like a hamster
Rolling and rolling
Blissfully free
In your invisible walls
Not knowing this happiness
Could be your turtle and caviar meal
Your Last Supper
And I must play Judas

What must I do?
Why must it be me?
Fate decreed
That I must be the executioner
To pull the lever that drops your floor
To burst your bubble
Just as your fingers are about to reach it.
And when you’re gone
I will be left with
nothing
but 30 silver coins
A dented axe
And your ball and chain
for company.

The Deed is Done

The deed is done.

I thought I was walking you to the Death Chair.

But you turned around

and held me close

and gave me freedom

from my own prison cell

Thank you.

Tattoo

You said

every time I say

those threewords

it cuts like a knife.

If that’s how you see it

then I wish i can leave you

wounded,

like the thousand punctures

of a tattoo artist’s needle;

make you bleed,

make you hurt,

make you numb,

until you are strong enough;

until they can’t hurt you

anymore:

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

…And when you find your breath again

You’d find me

A permanent mark

in the core of your soul.

You’ll forget me sometimes

because you won’t always see me,

But I’m there

hidden

beneath the layers

that you use

to conceal

your true skin…

Smoke

breaths...

deeper than the ocean;

my contribution

to the gathering

clouds…

Not Here...

It isn’t working.

I could pretend to be okay.

I could get drunk after so many bottles of beer.

I could dance the night away

as though

you were in one of the tables

watching me from a distance.

I could try to forget

that you’re not here.

But when the night is over

And everyone has gone,

The ghost of you remains,

and the truth catches up with me:

That I am all alone.

That you are miles away,

And this thing

around my waist

is not your arms

but my pretentious pillow

trying desperately

to take your place.

Sunrise

Sunrise
Wakes me
A touch of gold
Smoothing out my face
To open my eyes
To wakeful dreams
of you.

Paper Boat

Torn and folded
into something you are not
and then thrust into sea.
A speck
to the waves
that dance before you.
They don’t know it
that you think
they are beautiful
even as they drag you
into the depths of their souls
and you swallow everything
until you have drowned
before you could even begin
your journey.

You are like me
as I gaze at the heavens
above my head…
Beautiful…

And I’ll see you soon...

Spectacles

A pinch of sand

A bolt of lightning

An ounce of eagle’s sight,

The world

A blur

Is set aright.

Prodigal Son's Brother

If I stay,
I know I die a little
everyday,
until I become
like this jar,
overflowing with emptiness,
until I finally
understand
that the prodigal son’s brother
had every right
to be lonely.

Ice Cream

I would like

to order

a big bowl

of rocky road ice cream

to fill up

the hole that you leave

every time you’re away…

Hearts on Fire

hearts on fire
beat like drums
that echo
the cry
of crimson blood
gushing through
dark tunnels
that feed the corpse
that is me
lest you were

not here.

Lub-dub… Lub-dub…
heartbeats
felt through fingers
wiping away
my dying tears.

I am..

I am

a grain

of sand

slipping

through

God’s fingers

Soaring the skies

with the turbulence

of the wind

aiming

for the moon

even when i know

there is

nothing

there

but craters

and hollow dreams…

one single tear

One single tear:

a river
lasting 2 hours,
running
from
roxas to

iloilo;

a prayer

like that

of a headless

statue

kneeling

in front of a heartless god

to prolong

every second

that brings me
closer to you
so you can say it
to my face
that we are
finally
apart…

One Single Tear Still Falling

one single tear
still flowing
like waterfall
from

iloilo

to roxas
rejoicing

at Fate’s decree
that you love me
after all
despite all..

and we are
finally
closer
than we’ve ever
been…

Ghost Train... by Tope

The ghost train chugs along

Passengers come and go

Regulars…Nomads…Vagrants

All of them believing

They have somewhere to go

The ghost of pain enters

Crushes my heart…

Tears it apart

Acts as though nothing happened

Never wanting to depart

The ghost of hate enters

Takes me faraway but nowhere

Taints all my emotions

Leaves nothing but confusion

The ghost of fear enters

The way becomes pitch black

Never will I pass this way again

Never will I look back

The ghost of love enters

And she sits there

Quietly

With all the other ghosts staring

Rousing them up simply by existing

Pain…hate…fear …

Leave

Whining and grumbling

For they have been here for so long

It has become their home

The ghost of strength enters

And the train picks up speed and goes further

The way seems dark and steep

But I take a deep breath and dig deep

The ghost of dreams enter

Takes me to a place near paradise

Only for me to take a trace

Of the life I want to embrace

My soul is the ghost train

My emotions the passengers

And you are the love

That changed me unknowingly

Although I know you are real

Not a ghost who will fade

Taking my train

Somewhere

Somewhere I have never been

Take my train

Fill my heart

Quench this journeyman’s thirst

To go the extra mile

Through my tank is empty

Take my train

take me home..

Of Priests

Guardians of the Flock,

Hunters of Prodigies,

Keepers of the Word,

Fountains of Knowledge

that never less from brim

no matter how much they give away.

Molders of His clay

Hands

though which the Maker

transforms His Rock

Into an Angel who flies away,

possibly never to return

when her wings had been formed,

selflessly bestowed with the gift of endless flight.

Such is the fate of those

chosen to be shepherds.

Butterfly In the Dark... by Tope

She Dances in the Darkness

Where few souls dare discover,

Paying no heed to fear and bigotry

that nearly all wallow in

Searching for something

all for naught

for the darkness instead

Found her light

A light so warm and tender

enchanting the night

becoming the stars

of my pitch dark desert

My happiness, my sorrow

My agony, my joy

my strength and my fears

is her and her alone

Labor Watch

Dawn breaking,

Oblivious to dusk.

Stars fading,

and the Moon has waved

goodbye.

When did it say hello?

Resident cats watching over the new mothers,

purring to greet the daylight.

Pens skating over silver charts,

clanking with the promise of respite.

But I did not get to see the sunrise,

and I did not hear the birds.

I did not feel the breath

of morning breeze

against my face.

Respite would not be for another 5 hours.

Instead I’ve held another person’s breath

in my aching hands,

like rope,

in a tug of war with Death.

Instead I’ve seen a different kind of Sun

rising from between a mother’s legs.

Instead I heard a different kind of music

thumping against my stethoscope

as the Resurrection nears:

the silent thunder-drumming

of hearts

reaching up to heaven

proclaiming the cry

of Imminent Liberation.

Evening Prayer

It’s a gray day,

then an even grayer night;

like the sky before it rains;

like your eyes

when you are lost

in your own thoughts;

and at night before sweet sleep surrender,

i find

that all my prayers

are for you:

that you may find happiness

though in the end

i’m not a part of it,

that loving you

would one day

cease

to hurt,

that soon a star

may shine

through all the clouds

you’ve wrapped around you,

for the chance to catch you smile,

for heaven to keep you safe,

and for the power

to walk into your dreams

the way you do

in mine.

Amen.

Sky

Night time stars

teach me to dream

of future’s light

and I can’t wait

to grow up…

Daylight’s clouds

teach me to imagine,

to remain a child

forever…

Ebony or Ivory,

whichever dress she wears,

she makes me look

to heaven and beyond…

Phoenix Cloud

Cotton candy heaven

blown by wind,

formed into a bird of prey

gracefully swooping down…

Sunset Moon upon its beak,

as though towards the Earth

shall drop

unless it catches it.

Swiftly,

gently,

keep it up the sky,

so when weary

landbound soul

search heavenward

for reason,

he’ll find a jewel there:

Mystic Moon

so like a Star!

Changing cloud.

Phoenix gone.

Nothing left

but shapeless white.

Soon it will be an angel

or a tree,

or a hippopotamus!

Infinite potential

to be anything

by wind’s decree!

Such is life.

Before you even realize it

the Wind

has transformed you

into

something

else…

Flower

Little white blossom

carried by the wind

caught in my hair

dropped into a cup

floating like a lilly

in its own private pond

clear

quiet

pretty

happier

in its half a cup of water

than any human being

will ever be in this whole known

universe…

Little wite blossom

sinking in its cup

petals gently drift apart

to sleep a sleep eternal

happier

in its death

than any human being

has ever been

in the history of mankind

smiling monalistic

as though it knows

tomorrow

it will wake up a rose…

Ferris Wheel

(in memory of a childhood friend who chased after the balloon.)

Starlight shining brightly

beneath our dusty sneakers,

town lights

illuminating sky,

horizon invisible,

as though all the world

was heaven…

Cotton candy-ice cream

mosaics upon our shirts.

No angels’ wings behind us.

Just a balloon in hand

whose destiny was to show us

how high

we could fly

if only

we let it

go…

Chocolate covered smiles

missing two front teeth,

laughing

as though ’twas our laughter

that gave life

to the wind…

And his hand

held mine

As though, suddenly

it has found

its purpose…

And when his lips

discovered their puspose too,

the balloon fulfilled its destiny

and went to join the stars…

Between town lights

and starlight

that we could not tell apart,

the wheel lifted us up

to what used to seem

like the highest part of the world!

And then we forgot…

Until the day I stood before his grave

and knew I owed him a memory

of a touch,

a kiss,

and of a balloon that flew away,

still waiting for me

to catch up…

butterfly

Catterpillar leaf

vampire in its coffin

searching

thirsting

for your beauty.

sunrise

Sunrise setting

Sunset rising

Eternally chasing

The moon.

windows

Eyes opened

lighting up a room

like sunlight

from behind a cloud

ten minutes

after

the rain.

Stage

Hanging by a thread

Can’t anymore feel my head

When the world becomes a stage

I’ll stay in the back row seats

And watch you act your part

Wear your mask with all your heart

It’s what they need to see

Play your role with studied art

And I’ll teach my heart not to break.

Until the curtains fall

And you throw away that mask you wear onstage.

I’ll wait for you here in my little nook

While I get on with my life

The way I know I should

Until the curtains fall

I’ll stay in the back row seats

And watch you act your part

So that when you take a bow

And look out to that crowd

You’ll know I’m there

Hanging by a thread indeed

Woven gold by Sisters three

Waiting patient

Waiting kind

Waiting

for the final curtain call

I’ll be the first to throw you flowers.

dream

Your love

Is like

A kiss

From a faraway

Dream…

Lingering

Long after I’ve awakened

I'll Do It Again...

I’ll do it again,

Heal your wounds,

Soothe your aches,

Ease your pains.

I’ll do it again,

lend you my shoulder

when no else would,

Stand behind you

when you feel like you’d fall.

I’ll do it again,

Listen

Smile

Comfort

Laugh

To let you know

The world is still beautiful.

I’ll do it again,

Even if it takes only a day

for others to unravel

the bandages I’ve put,

to re-open the cuts

I’ve patiently closed.

I’ll do it again,

pray my wordless prayers

for your safety,

hope for the best,

replenish your spirit,

resuscitate your heart,

nourish your soul…

All you have to do

is come home,

because that is what I am.

And I’ll do it all again..

sky

Night time stars

teach me to dream

of future’s light

and I can’t wait

to grow up…

Daylight’s clouds

teach me to imagine,

to remain a child

forever…

Ebony or Ivory,

whichever dress she wears,

she makes me look

to heaven and beyond…