Easter 2010

The gathering clouds are clearing.
The mist has blown away.
The troubles that have haunt me, though,
have made their choice to stay.

The stars have formed their halo,
the moon on Madonna's face,
But for this, here, human,
I still need thy saving grace.

The tomb has been found empty.
The rock that sealed it, broke.
But my back is still bent, weary
from this cross, my burden's yoke.

I know you'll be leaving soon.
After Holy Week, you said.
I'll trust not in your return,
though I wish Easter would never end.

I'll fill myself with Easter colors
To forget the bleakness that you leave.
The Lord has risen and so has the sun
but I'll stay in bed and cover my head
until it's your resurrection come.

And I'll Teach My Heart Not To Break

Just let me know where I am in your life.
I'm sure it's not that hard.
My heart is open like a book,
longing for your fingers to turn the page.
I wait, helplessly for you
in the chaotic peace where you left me.
And I'll stay here until you return
the way the sky awaits the sun.
Except I have no moon to take your place when you leave.
I know I seem so vulnerable and hopelessly with hope,
But I'm stronger than I seem.

I can teach my heart not to break.

I can will the tears to stop.
I can smile and tell you I'll be alright.
I can agree to the impossible friendship that follows goodbyes.
I can keep your number in my phone
and not look at your old I-love-you's with regret.
I can be the epitome of politeness
when you introduce me to her like an old friend.
I can live on like our yesterdays
were merely dreams that never were.
I can do all those things with practiced elegance,
the way true lovers love.

Just please don't leave me hanging.
And I'll teach my heart not to break.

Because, really...
It's funny that we could teach our hearts so many things:
To open up or to close.
To let go or to hold on.
To cling to hope or to simply give up.
To avenge or to heal.
To forgive.
To accept.
To move on.

But never who to love...

Somebody

Somebody is holding on on.
Somebody is letting go.
Somebody is hurting.
Somebody inflicts the pain.
Somebody wants the truth.
Somebody wants the lie.
Somebody is hoping.
Somebody is afraid.
Somebody is torn.
Somebody is trapped.
Somebody needs to be free.
Somebody must make a choice.
And somebody is simply adrift.

I just don't know
which somebody
I must be.

January 14, 2010

Rebuilding
broken trusts,
picking up the pieces
and getting hurt still
by the sharp edges of
the puzzle falling into place.
Is it wiser to abandon
the search for the truth?
Is it worth it?
To be nicked some more,
if only to hold
your hand
in mine
again?